Of Horses, Movies and Treadmills

Posted: January 4, 2012 in Uncategorized

Although I’m generally a lazy person, I’ve taken up walking great distances in my feeble attempt to combat my increasingly fleeting youth. It hasn’t really helped much, except that now I have the legs of a quarter horse instead of just the face. I would say I was hung like a horse as well, but I’d be lying and what would I do with such a thing anyway. I’m not really getting much use out the one I have now. One unfortunate drawback of losing my body fat has been that I get cold very easy. With the onset of winter, walking ten miles in the freezing cold really does not seem all that fun and has forced me to come up with an alternate plan. Fortunately I own a treadmill.

Now I know what you’re thinking, treadmills are fucking boring, and you’d be right. The idea of spending even an hour on a treadmill sounds about as appealing as doing housework, or even worse, reading this blog. As it happens , I also own a big, honking TV which faces my treadmill. In addition, I have the good fortune of being subscribed to a shit movie service. I am now able to do a grueling hour and a half uphill walk, while watching many of the most awful movies known to man. The other day it was a movie about a guy with a fast car who shoots people. Not unlike clowns, everyone likes a good car chase. Come to thing of it I don’t really like clowns, they’re kid of creepy. As for car chases I’m pretty sure most would agree they got tired long before Driving Miss Daisy.

So whether it’s a sappy Matt Damon film, ( I can’t hear that name without thinking of Team America World Police) a mindless action film, or a truly awful retelling of Little Red Riding Hood, I am now able to keep myself amused Sweating to the Razzies. Who knows? I may have just created the ultimate fitness program. On second thought, please don’t tell anyone or I’ll be just another ugly skinny person in a sea of beautiful people. Not sure I like that idea.

Your Fool


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