Posted: March 23, 2012 in Uncategorized

I own a cell phone. I hardly ever use it. It’s a flip phone, and it generally sits in my vehicle, forgotten, for months at a time. I have no issue with cell phones, I think they’re a wonderful invention. Being able to communicate with anyone, anywhere, surely has its place among the great inventions of a civilized world. One of my best friends is an executive with a major wireless company. I don’t think of myself as a Luddite, I love technology, but for some reason I seem to be lacking the wireless gene.

Seven or eight years ago I went to a surprise birthday party for my friend. Although my mum was up visiting, and I felt like shit the whole day, I really didn’t want to be rude and not show. I told my mum that I would be back in a couple of hours, and off I went. After having a few beers, I began feeling remarkably better and decided to stick around. I felt bad for telling my mum I be back early, and decided to give her a call to tell her I’d be late. I went to my friend, who was involved in a conversation with the Chairman of the wireless company he worked for, and asked to borrow his phone. I took the phone, and went off to find a quiet area to use it. It was only then that I realized that having never used a cell phone, I had no idea how to make a call. I returned to my friend who was still in conversation with his boss, and embarrassingly asked “How do I use this thing?” He dropped his head in shame, showed me how to use it, and then introduced me to his boss as his idiot friend. I made the call, and actually continued drinking till about five in the morning. Maybe one day I’ll catch up to the new millennium, and get me one of them smart phones, but it is entirely possible I’ll be far too stupid to learn how to use it.

Your Fool


  1. barnabyd says:

    Awww not everyone is cut out for this stuff. Tell you what, I was amazed the first time I saw someone talking into a cell phone. I thought they only did texting