Happy Easter?

Posted: April 6, 2012 in Uncategorized

At the risk of upsetting a billion Christians,  I hate Easter. It’s not that I hate Christians, or anyone else for that matter, I just grew to loathe the week. When I was child, Easter meant multiple marathon church services, abstaining from eating anything good, becoming estranged from my  godless friends, and generally living a bland, lifeless existence. All the while I was forced to live in Catholic purgatory, the rest of my friends were in heaven. For them it meant four days off school and endless partying. For me it meant praying the rosary, and going to confession. Confession, WTF, the only thing I had to confess at that point was how much I hated the whole religion thing, and I would never have had the balls to do that.  I love my mum, but I don’t quite understand how she thought that this would do anything but ensure that I learned to loathe religion. In any case, no matter what your beliefs, have a happy Easter.

In honour of the season, a joke.

A boy sits down in the confessional and says “Bless me Father for I have sinned. I stole some wood to build a bird house.” The priest thinks on this and says “Well son stealing is wrong, but at least you used the wood to shelter one of God’s creatures. Say one Hail Mary and your sins are forgiven. Is there anything else?” The boy replies “Well Father, I had a little wood left over so I decided to build a dog house.” The priest a little more disappointed, tells the boy “Well that’s more than a little wood, but again you used it to shelter another of God’s creatures, so say two Hail Mary ‘s and you sins are forgiven. Is there anything else?” The boy a little more nervous this time says ” Well Father you see I still had a little extra wood left over, so I built a garage.” The priest now angry, sternly tells the boy.” You sinful child, not only have you stolen a whole lot of wood, you’ve used it for purely selfish reasons, for this you will have to make a novena.” The boy shrugs his shoulders and says ” Father if you’ve got the plans, I’ve got the wood”

Your Fool

  1. barnabyd says: