Don’t Try This At Home Kids

Posted: May 26, 2012 in Uncategorized

Don’t worry, I’m a professional. OK, so I’m not a professional electrician, but how hard could it be. Last year, being the wise sage that I am, I disconnected my pool pump to store it in the basement. Being ever so clever, I have it connected to a timer, no point in needlessly wasting valuable electricity. There are millions of plant and animal species counting on my prudence, and I wouldn’t want to let them down. A more cynical person might question my commitment to the environment by owning a pool in the first place, but I suspect that is only because they are fat and ugly.

…meanwhile, back at the pool pump.

Oh yeah, the pool pump. I carefully connected the pump to the system, and set about wiring the pump to the timer. Done, another piece of brilliant work accomplished. I went down to the funny grey box in the basement, flicked on the black, switchy type thing, and returned to the pump. Now all that remained was clicking on the little white button, clearly marked on, and listening to the baby purr. Click. Fuck. Where was the whirling type sound generally accompanying the starting of a pump? Something was clearly amiss. I returned to the basement, flicked off the black, switchy thing, reconnected my wires, and flicked it back on. I returned to my pump, with a fresh confidence that all was again right with the world. Click. Fuuuuck.

My confidence now shattered, I decided I had no choice but to consult that great oracle, The Internet. There it was, plain as day, step by step instructions with accompanying pictures, explaining how to do it. I rewired the pump, selected it on, success. The truly sad part of the whole story was that while I was reconnecting the pump the final time, a most humbling revelation came to mind. I had been through this all before.

Your Fool

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