The Fool

Posted: June 26, 2012 in Uncategorized

Once upon a time there was a young awkward man from a small town who had to go to the city for a job interview. He was a nervous sort at the best of times, so even the idea of a trip to the big city for of all things a job interview, left him feeling horribly stressed. Like the nerdy kid that he was, he brought his mum along as there was a plan to travel on to another city a short distance away to visit his sister. He packed up the car with his luggage and mum and off they went on their six-hour journey.

They arrived in the city after a stressful drive, and somehow found the hotel that they would be staying at. He realized when he had gotten there  that although he had brought his fancy new suit, he had no fancy tie to go with it. As he loved to shop, he went to the nearest mall, went into the first department store he came to and proceeded directly to the menswear section. After spending at least a minute at the tie rack, he found one that he thought would go reasonably well with his fancy suit. Having successfully located his treasure, he went immediately to the counter to pay. “That will be $37.45, how would you like to pay?” said the cheerful cashier. The young man gaped in awe, realizing only now the fatal flaw in his plan. He had neglected to actually check the price tag. Although he had learned to be thrift with his money, the sheer embarrassment of admitting to the cashier that he had made a terrible mistake was too much for him. He painfully handed her his credit card, paid, and quickly exited the evil place.

In the morning the now smartly dressed young man set off for his job interview. He found the place he was looking for, meekly told the receptionist who he was, and was asked to sit down in the waiting area. Having arrived about 45 minutes early, he was now faced with the unbearable task of just sitting there and waiting. As time rolled on, the infinitely more confident candidates began strolling in. “Where are their fancy suits and designer Ralph Lauren ties?” he thought in horror. He tried desperately to disappear, but to no avail. He just sat there wordlessly, waiting to either be called, or die of embarrassment.

When he was finally called, he was sat down in a large room with two men who once again were dressed far more casually than him. He tried to sound confident, while being asked questions he was sure he had no intelligent answers to. He really tried the best he could, all the while praying that a giant meteorite would destroy the earth and end the horror. The interview ended with them saying that they really needed to see his high school transcripts which he had neglected to bring. He left the interview with his head hung low, knowing he had better learn the phrase, “Would you like fries with that?”

When he returned to the hotel, he was a mess. Although he was completely unsure why he was wasting his time with it, he told his mum that they would have to return home so he could mail off his transcripts. They quickly packed their bags, checked out of the hotel and headed for home. Although he really should have been paying more attention to his driving, being a confused young man at the best of times, he couldn’t help but dwell on the days ugly events. After about two hours of driving, he began to notice something really quite odd. The signs were now listing the distance to an entirely new city than they had about ninety minutes previously. Something had clearly gone very wrong and It was too late to turn around. Broken, he apologized to his mum and resigned himself to the fact that he was indeed an idiot. They finally arrived home about two hours later than expected.

The next day he obtained the requested documents and mailed them off. They decided that the following day they would still travel to the distant city where his sister lived. They arrived at his sisters place and reunited with his two other sisters who had shown up as well. After consuming copious quantities of alcohol, he related the story to the rest of his family, receiving far too many bursts of laughter. The trials of the previous day forgotten, the merriment continued well into the morning, with even his very reserved mum having had too much to drink.

At the end of the week, they once again made the long journey home with events of the previous week nearly forgotten. He checked the mail box to find a large envelope addressed from the company he had done the interview with. He naturally assumed that the interview had gone so bad that they had felt the need to send a large sympathy card. Although to the end of time he will always wonder why, inexplicably they offered him the job. The only reasonable explanation was that realizing he could never be employed anywhere else, they felt obligated to take him on. He still works there to this day. God help us.

Your Fool

  1. barnabyd says:

    Holy crap! That’s some story. These days nobody even gets as far as an interview. You submit your resume by email and it is read by machine and if the machine doesn’t like it, it’s shredded. No real person even looks at it.