PANIC

Posted: August 6, 2012 in Uncategorized

In the four days since I quit smoking I’ve gained four pounds and now weigh 171 lbs. This can only be described as an alarming rate.  Extrapolating, by the end of the month I will already be 196 lbs. In as little as six months I will have reached 350 lbs. In a year I will be eligible to join the Sumo wrestling team. Oh god what have I done. The money I save on cigarettes will be spent on new clothes, not to mention the extra food I’ll need. I need to start saving now for one of those motorized carts. I’ll need to buy two seats on an airplane every time I want to travel. My life is over just because of one stupid decision. I hope all you fucking anti-smoking people are happy. Stop laughing at me.

 

Your Fool

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Comments
  1. barnabyd says:

    OMG don’t panic. It’s not that horrific. My dad quit and he does not look like a Zeppelin. He did gain a few pounds but he looks OK.