Would you like some whine with that?

Posted: October 17, 2012 in Uncategorized

I got myself all dressed up and ready for my walk this morning. I put on my hoodie, donned my expensive runners and opened the door to set upon my merry way. Fuck, rain. I closed the door, dropped my head in a profound sadness, and removed my runners. And as in uffish thought I stood (sorry Lewis, if that’s really your name, but the copyright’s over) I came to the realization that I was being a total wuss. Armed now with my ratty old runners I set off again. A nice long walk in a light rain seems to have been just what I needed to clear the spider webs from my soul, and lighten up a bit.

I know that I promised to make more of an effort to write, but once again it’s proven to be a little more difficult than it originally sounded. It turns out that sitting around doing nothing and feeling sorry for yourself is an excellent way of ensuring that you maintain zero motivation. Said another way, it’s hard to get out of a funk when you’re feeling sorry for yourself for being in a funk. OK, try as I might, none of that really made any sense and probably won’t no matter how many ways I try to explain it.

I think that like so many other people, I worry far too much about how other people perceive me. Being a reasonably intelligent person I realize that they are far too busy worrying about their own insecurities to worry about mine. Being armed with that knowledge is one thing, putting into practice is quite another thing altogether. Trying to convince my subconscious of this is like trying to reason with a child who all the while is covering his ears yelling “bla bla bla, I can’t hear you.” I guess it comes down to finding my inner child and exorcising him.

If for some reason none of this is making any sense to you don’t worry, it’s probably an excellent indication that you’re actually quite sane. Attempting to make sense of any of this is probably not advisable and the effects of prolonged exposure to my ramblings is not yet fully understood. If instead you’ve sighed, dropped your head and said “Ain’t that the truth.”, you’re probably screwed anyway and really shouldn’t worry too much..

On a final note, I had another of those crazy smoking dreams last night. I was having a few drinks with friends and took out my pack of cigarettes that never should have existed in the first place, and lit up. I remember thinking, “oh no, what have I done?” When I awoke shortly after, I was still in a bit of a panic until I realized it was only a dream. It’s been nearly three months since I quit. As God is my witness (and I’m pretty sure he’s not) I will NEVER smoke again.

For  those of you unfortunate enough to follow both my blogs, I’m once again cheating by updating them both with the same story. Please accept my deepest apologies for my intellectual laziness. It is possible that with a second reading it may actually get better though. Just saying.

Your Fool

PS I get some weird ass recommendations for tags.

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Comments
  1. pinkagendist says:

    Calm down, Scarlett O’Hara 😀
    I still have nightmares about having to wake up for school. Fortunately I know I’ll never have to again, unless I’m convicted of something and assigned community service- but still, it’ll probably not be a school.